My Diamond Story

Diana Esther
Jan 16, 2023
6 min read

My diamond journey began at the time of the former Soviet Union.

At the time of darkness and during the time of the Cold War.

I was born in a middle class Jewish family, in the beautiful city of Odessa, that was built in the year 1794, by the French and Italian merchants, on the shores of the Black Sea.

Odessa was a city of famous artists, musicians and writers.

The city with an amazing history and unique way of living.

A city of humour and laughter.

A city of colourful people and places.

It was a total celebration of the generosity of the heart, despite the communist grey reality, and the lack of every basic necessity of life.

People were very optimistic, and would never stop making a joke, even at times when their hearts were aching in pain.

I grew up on the teachings of the soviet doctrine and materialistic way of thinking, being completely disconnected from any religious or spiritual education. Not knowing the truth of creation and not being aware of the spirit within me.

Knowing life as it was, and excepting the only reality, that was possible.

Growing up without siblings or pets, not seeing enough of my parents, as they had to work long hours to make money for a basic standard of living.

Not getting enough love and not being able to express my feelings and my heart desires with anyone, but one doll, named Annie. It was a very lonely world.

Never truly experiencing a carefree childhood, or feeling the joy of life, I was dreaming one day to find the true love of my life and to pursue my dreams.

Feeling small and powerless to change anything, as I watched my dreams crushed one after the other.

When I was small, more than anything in the world, I wanted to dance.

I would stand for hours in front of the mirror, being moved by the beautiful sounds of the music, that would take me away, far away, into an imaginary world, the world of my dreams.

I wanted so much to dance and was dreaming of one day becoming a Prima Ballerina.

As I grew up, my passion for dancing became stronger and stronger.

I wanted badly to go to the ballet school, and begged my parents to let me apply.

Instead, I was told that I should forget my fantasy, and that dancing isn’t a future for a nice Jewish girl.

I tried to convince them over and over again.

I tried everything I could, to change their mind, but it didn’t work.

With every sound of music, sadness began to cover my face, with a veil of darkness.

One day, I experienced a sharp pain inside of my little heart, as I saw my big dream shattered in a million pieces, carrying away my happiness and joy forever.

I felt empty and numb, being robbed of my dream, and felt powerless to do anything.

I became chronically sad and forgotten how to smile.

One night, I was taken into hospital with an excruciating stomach ache.

After a long investigation, and a difficult decision, whether to operate on me or not, I was finally diagnosed with a chronic inflammatory gall bladder disease.

Staying alone in the hospital room that night, as my parents were not allowed to stay with me, I felt scared and lonely. Tears were rolling down my face, as I was hugging my little body, that was in so much pain.

I thought I was going to die.

Suddenly, I heard the voice inside my head, loving, gentle voice, telling me not to be scared and that all will be good. I didn’t know what that voice was. Did I make it up? Whose voice is it?

Whatever it was, it gave me so much strength and placed such trust and courage into my heart, that despite the strong pain, I knew I would survive.

Many years later, I find out, that my mother had a close friend, who was a Prima Ballerina, and after an unfortunate stage accident ended up in a wheelchair for the rest of her life.

Being bitter and angry with her life, she took promise of my mother, that if she ever had a daughter, she would never let her dance.

My life lost its sparkle and became just an ordinary every day experience.

Until one day, on my way back from school, I saw an announcement about an enrolment into a drama school for small children.

The feeling of joy took over my entire body.

I went inside of the theatre and secretly signed myself up into the drama school.

I was so happy and thrilled. Life had put a smile back on my face.

I loved it. Every moment of it.

Learning eagerly everything I could. I excelled very fast, and after the first year was already playing leading roles.

My drama school was about to travel to another city for the big holiday performance, and all the children were required to get the parental permission for the travel.

My teacher, without letting me know, called my parents and asked for their written permission and my secret was totally exposed.

I was immediately taken out of the drama school, despite many phone calls from my drama teacher, begging my parents to let me stay.

For the second time in my little life, I saw my dream shattered again, as the tears of loss were rolling down my cheeks.

How much pain can one little heart take?

Dreams, they seemed to me like a bird, flying high in the sky, too high to be reached.

That voice again, voice of a loving friend, cheering me up and reassuring me, that all eventually will work out.

My soul badly wanted to dance and to sing with joy and happiness. To express its love in the world. Instead, I felt like that princess, from the fairy tale, that never knew how to smile, and her loving father, the king, offered his kingdom and the hand of his daughter to anyone who would make her smile.

I knew I wasn’t born a princess and my father had no kingdom.

I felt doomed.

As I grew older, I kept searching and searching for a new passion in my life.

I always loved learning and had a constant hunger for knowledge, and as my illness progressed, I decide to become a doctor, to heal myself and to help others.

Little did I know, what my destiny was preparing me for. In 1967 during the 6-day war for the survival of the young Jewish State of Israel, had activated hatred towards the Jewish population of the former Soviet Union, depriving Jewish children from studying at the universities and having choices for the future. Once again taking away my hopes and my dreams of becoming a doctor.

My parents had to leave their jobs, as Jewish people became traitors and unreliable in the eyes of communist society.

I wasn’t allowed to study, and we had no financial support.

I was lost for words, and once again, felt powerless and angry.

How could it happened?

Why the country, that I called home and loved so much, would turn against me and my people?

Where is this hatred coming from?

How could that happen?

I felt as if my life was coming to an end.

Everything I knew and believed in, changed in one moment.

All my dreams were washed away, with a killer wave of an emotional tsunami.

Every day of my life became a nightmare within a new reality, supported by the ongoing soviet propaganda against Israel and the Jewish people.

My future and the future of my family was covered with a total veil of darkness.

I was lost for words.

What would happen to my family and I?

I had no answer.

Somewhere, deep inside of my heart I knew, that something will happen, something must happen.

If ever an opportunity to apply to leave Russia became available, I would the first one to go and never come back.

I didn’t know how, I didn’t know when, but the voice of love in my heart gave me that courage and hope to keep on going.

A few years later, after the continuing bargaining and hot debates between Russia and the United States, Israel opened its doors for the Jewish people from the Soviet Union.

The Russian Government finally began to let Jewish people leave the Soviet Union.

After waiting for three long years, without knowing if they would ever let us out, late one night, the first 400 families where randomly chosen, and were given 48 hour notice to leave, allowing one suitcase per person, $250 dollars per family and status as a Russian refugee.

That was the beginning of a journey, for my family and I, into a promised land, the land of hope and freedom for all.

The Mystery of Life

Beyond the space of time and life existence

Lived love of God in a total state of bliss

Enjoying every moment of creation

And building a world of love to share his dreams

He wanted to experience his oneness

In multi sided qualities of life

To feel emotions through human kindness

To fall in love with life through human eyes

God wanted to create with joy and laughter

The world of love for every human race